Friday, April 28, 2006

Harvard: Enemy of Women

A letter to the editors of Harvard Magazine:

I consider your cover on the March-April 2006 issue to be pornographic, belittling of women, insensitive, and totally appalling! The whole magazine went into the garbage can immediately. The magazine is too liberal for this conservative. You can cease sending them to our home. --M.M.

This is the cover image in question:


It's the painting Ulysses and the Sirens by Herbert Draper:

Belittling indeed. Everybody knows the sirens were monk seals, not women.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Cruisin' Down Truckers Boulevard in Ken-tuck-ay

Lil Baji's wedding was this weekend. It's really easy to get to her parents' house. Just take Truckers Blvd straight from Kentucky into Indiana and make a right at the golf course.

Both LB and the big B herself looked gorgeous, but I cannot post their pictures here because, although the photos have been leaked by the president's staff, the president has not yet declassified them.

Instead I present to you the next best thing:

Onion rings!

Wigs!

Tomorrow's Styles Today!

These are the styles! You can have them today! (You could also have them in the '80s, but shhh...)

I can think of another place for those quotation marks. Also, an undiscovered aspect of the Alberto Gonzales vs. a baked potato qualification contest: Gonzales does the day shift, while the baked potato handles the night shift.

I want to get a bunch of these and start an all-girl group/gang. During the day we'll sing inspirational hymns at retirement homes and in the evenings we'll wait outside diners when the old people go for their 5pm baked potato and rob them blind.

Monday, April 03, 2006

No Matter Alive or Die

My beloved Chinese grocery store takes a hardline stance on newspaper pilfering.